35 Small But Important Facts I Learned In 30 Years

Unsolicited wisdom, from me to you.

35 Small But Important Facts I Learned In 30 Years - Sarrandipity

Photo: Josselyn Imhoff

I’ve seen more than my fair share of articles spouting profound realizations shared by people who just celebrated milestone birthdays. This is not that. For one, I turned 30 six months ago. (Bonus fact: Procrastination may forever be my greatest vice—I wrote this list back then, and am just getting around to posting it now.) And the wisdom I’m about to share with you probably can’t be categorized as profound…but I’ll let you make that call. Here, some of the most important facts I’ve learned in my 30 (.5) years on this here Earth.

  1. Crockpots really are magical.
  2. You can pull off leather leggings if you put your mind to it. (Same goes for boyfriend jeans; just be prepared to then want to wear them every. single. day.)
  3. Sometimes Pinterest failing is more fun than Pinterest succeeding.
  4. It’s okay to download multiple Kindle books at once, but you should probably cut yourself off around number 5. (Once you read one, though, you can buy 5 more.)
  5. Packing light is overrated.
  6. Capsule wardrobes aren’t for everyone.
  7. Neither are sky-high stilettos. Or medium-high heels, for that matter.
  8. Naps get better with age.
  9. And naps in the sun and/or on a beach are the best kind.35 Small But Important Facts I Learned in 30 Years - Sarrandipity
  10. There’s no “easy way” to clean a litter box.
  11. And the self-cleaning, fancy litter boxes are basically bullshit.
  12. Goat cheese cheddar exists, and it’s every bit as magical as it sounds.
  13. There is a delicious beer out there for those who hate beer, and it’s called Not Your Father’s Root Beer.
  14. I may never really learn about wine.
  15. I may also never learn that just because I love a shirt, doesn’t mean I need to buy it in every color.
  16. Moon cheese is a gift from God.
  17. Sometimes you just need to pass out on the couch while watching TV and let yourself stay there all night.
  18. Wake-up lights are worth every penny, but they’re not magic.
  19. It’s okay to drink champagne when you’re not at a wedding, or celebrating something. In fact, it’s encouraged.35 Small But Important Facts I Learned in 30 Years - Sarrandipity
  20. My limit for number of days in a week I can eat pizza is 5. Mexican food: 4. Cheese: unlimited.
  21. The Nordstrom anniversary sale is the best sale of the year. Period.
  22. Being among mountains never ceases to be and feel amazing.
  23. A too-short haircut is never a reason to be devastated.
  24. And when you find a good hairstylist who gets you, you should hold on to her for dear life.
  25. Not having an assigned seat on an airplane is modern travel’s version of torture.
  26. Hawaii doesn’t get the love it deserves from millennial travelers and honeymooners. It’s goddamn paradise.
  27. It’s perfectly okay to never want to advance beyond the blue squares on the ski slopes.35 Small But Important Facts I Learned in 30 Years - Sarrandipity
  28. Just because you keep your head down while swinging a golf club doesn’t mean the ball will go where you want it to.
  29. When you’re feeling down in the dumps, all you need is a cat to head butt you, purr in your face, or fall asleep in your lap to feel validated and loved and alive.
  30. Polar vortexes never get easier. Neither do humid heat waves.
  31. Candles bring happiness to every room.
  32. Self-serve froyo was one of the greatest inventions of this decade.
  33. I don’t know what to call this decade. 10s?
  34. Noodle kugel is the greatest comfort food of all time.
  35. Sometimes you set out to make a list of 30 things and end up with 35.

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Clip: “Woody Allen on the Magic of His Latest Movie”


That picture there? It’s me (or more accurately, a side view of my hair, my notebook, and my iphone voice recording app), interviewing Woody Allen. It was one of the coolest, most humbling moments of my writing career. I only got a few short minutes to speak with him–it was on the red carpet for the Chicago premiere of his newest movie, Magic in the Moonlight–but it was a great few minutes. I had no idea what to expect from Mr. Allen himself–would he be scary? quiet? rude? funny?–but ultimately, he was great. Actually reminded me of any, well, older man, who likes to tell people stories. What he did share with me was already fascinating; I’m sure if we talked longer, there’d be some tales for the books. Here’s what I did get out of him.


Clip: “What is Fred Savage’s Advice to Young Filmmakers?”

Fred SavageI had the opportunity to interview child actor-turned-director/producer/Hollywood every-man at the CineYouth Film Festival in Chicago. The festival featured filmmakers all under the age of 21–talk about inspiring. Savage hosted opening night of the festival, walking the red carpet to kick things off. He was super-friendly, and had some great things to say. What, you ask? Read on to find out.


Epic Pranks on Another Level

Need a tissue? The above video is one of the many epic, positive pranks in Break.com’s new Prank it FWD program. I’ve been hearing about this program–the premise of which is to pull positive pranks on unsuspecting strangers, and donate $1 to DoSomething.org for every 1,000 views–for months in the Defy Media office, and the result is even more amazing than I could’ve imagined. That “Best Shift Ever” video above was even featured the TODAY show, and various Prank it FWD videos are getting picked up all over the place, from Gawker to E! News. Gotta admit, I’m feeling that whole pride-by-association thing right about now.

My personal favorite: The movie trailer voice guy, Jon Bailey, messing with customers at a drive-thru. I can’t do it justice; you just have to watch: